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You CAN do it!

Updated: Nov 12, 2023

You have a strength inside of you--and you KNOW it. ...But on the other hand there's fear, a very real fear that cannot be denied. . . I recently won an appeal against my ex-husband, Kerry Adler. And as they say: There's nothing to fear but fear itself!

Final Remittiur
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In my situation, Kerry attempted to intimidate me by appealling the decision by the Superior Court of Los Angeles for him to pay Child Support, Spousal Support, and Attorney's Fees. Kerry paid money to have an attorney represent him, but I represented myself--and WON!! Of course, Kerry also petitioned the California Supreme Court but they did not grant him a review, and his case was dismissed.

Now, I'm not saying you should (or shouldn't) self-represent, I am simply here to share some steps I have taken that helped me find the right course for me. I hope that in sharing my experience, you can find it in yourself to follow the course that is right for you. So here are the steps I have taken to triumph!

First, I accept my situation for what it is. While we all wish circumstances would be different--they are not! It doesn't mean you have to like the current circumstance, but it's important to recognize, what you are, and what you are not, in control of. And know that it's ok. YOU ARE OK. **As a side note- this does not pertain to anyone who is currently involved in a violent situation.

I allow myself to feel the fear in my body. Sit quietly by yourself and hear everything the fear is saying. How does it sound? What exactly is it saying? How does it make you feel as you are hearing it? Recognize that it is fear that you hear. Then ask yourself: what would fear want me to do? Do I want to act or take steps from a place of fear? It can be challenging to decipher fear because fear is tricky--it's meant to protect you from perceived dangers. KEY WORD HERE: Perceived.

I trust myself. Rather than let my mind worry over all the possibilities of what might happen, I remind myself that none of those things are actually happening! In this relaxed state, ideas seem to just "pop" up for me, and I just explore them! Without any expectations, I just follow the next small idea, and the next. . . Try to hear those little ideas that pop up for you. Jot them down for later.

I use absolutely everything for learning. There are many things that happen that can feel disappointing. I allow myself to feel that fully but then I also flip things around by finding a new "lesson". This has helped me to become resilient! Work hard to find how you can take this situation and learn from it, making it work for you in the long run. Life experience is the best schooling you can get!

I promise you, you are capable of doing things you thought were impossible for you! But more importantly, you are more than enough just the way you are right now, without ever having to do anything.


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